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Weekend, here we come

April 10, 2008

No class tomorrow! At all! Wahoo!

I have one short little rehearsal in the morning, then I’m hitting the road. It’s supposed to snow here any minute now (well, soon, anyway) but it doesn’t look like it will be quite as severe between here and there as it will in other parts of the state, so here’s to crossing my fingers and resisting the urge drive on cruise. It’s my best friend’s 21st birthday, and a girl doesn’t just miss that kind of action.

Yes, I will be seeing Artist this weekend. Yes, all of the plans have been made and the plans we will keep. We’re gonna pull up the pull-ups and be big kids this weekend, and not just for Caterpillar’s sake, but because we want to. If it were just for her sake, we’d cancel the boulder-throwing-slash-cake-run scheduled for tomorrow afternoon and I’d just ask him to pick up the cake himself. It’s not like walking into Dairy Queen and forking over a twenty dollar bill is something that requires the effort of two people. But we decided at least a week ago to do it together, and we still want to do it together.

If you really want to know what happened, I can sum it all up in one word: distance.

We’re going to have our own good time this weekend, and where we take it from there, we’re going to have to decide together. I know he’ll try to leave it up to me. They always do. And maybe it is up to me in the end anyway. I already feel better, though, than I have in a few weeks, and that has to be a good sign. Last night sucked. This morning sucked. But life goes on, and I refuse to hate. I refuse to hate him, to hate the situation, to hate anything about it. I will not hate.

We’ll see.

It’s that other Boy’s birthday today. We exchanged a quite pleasant text conversation this afternoon after I called him an old man.

Fiddler called Tuesday and asked if I wanted to be his roomie (along with one of his other friends). Um. YES.

I don’t have to give him up completely. It just has to change. I don’t WANT it to change, but I’ll take all that nothing over nothing at all.

(major points if you can name that song/artist)

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