Skip to content

The Boys

December 10, 2008

Are you a little lost when it comes to my love life lately? Let me help you out: Don’t be. It doesn’t even exist.

It seems like every time I have something new to say, it’s about any one of six guys. The stories never have any continuity. My life is random sometimes and there’s just no pulling in the reins. Just when I think I’ve closed one book or another, I find a sequel. It’s a lot like that talking bible in Superbook. Did you ever watch that show? Just me? Well, whenever Christopher and Joy need to “learn a lesson,” Superbook, the talking bible, starts glowing and opens up and sucks them in, along with their talking robot, Gizmo. They forget it’s there and then poof! They go flying, flying.

Terrible metaphor, right?

Anyway, in case you’ve fallen behind, here’s a run-down of the most recent characters in my life.

Fiddler: The boy I was just sick for much of my sophomore and junior year of college. We started as friends, became better friends, and have remained that way. We bonded over music and our similar life goals, and he’s already in Tennessee, waiting on me. When he somewhat recently broke up with his girlfriend, he started calling a lot more often… More detail on Fiddler here.

Fiddler and I celebrating spring and the grand summer ahead of us.

Actor: I fell for him my freshman year of college, the moment I laid eyes on him. I was determined to be a new, more exciting person, and so not only did I flirt shamelessly (but with class!), but I got it to work. He asked me out and he was the second boy I ever kissed. Of course, I was acting all cool, but I was seriously screwed up from a previous relationship and he was just screwed up. We had a rough couple of months and he started dating someone else, but we ultimately ended up friends, music buddies, and confidantes. He recently moved to the city and we’ve rekindled our friendship and then some. He’s my date to the holiday party on Friday. I’ve written about Actor here, here and here.

Actor and I in the music room at BSC

Goose: You haven’t heard about him too much since this summer, but he’s worth a mention. I met him sophomore year of high school and instantly developed a crush. He asked my best friend out instead of me. It didn’t matter because years later when we both ended up in the Twin Cities area, we decided to get together to catch up and ended up doing a lot more kissing than talking. That was a fun story to tell the bff, that’s for sure. We still see each other periodically. There’s usually some kind of intensity between us when we do but I don’t think we’re ever in the same place at the same time, you know, figuratively speaking. Plus, I just found out he’s moving to South Dakota, of all places. I’ll probably never see him again.

Goose and I trying to stay warm in Minnesota in March…

Eagle Scout: The source of some of the most serious drama I have ever experienced in my lifetime. He had been dating, in an undefined sort of way, a girl who was one of my best friends at the time. I never was exactly clear on all that went on between them, and I suppose that’s no excuse, but a few months– a semester-ish– after they’d ceased to be, he asked me out. I accepted, not really knowing if it was supposed to be a date or not because he really wasn’t crystal clear about anything, and later, in the interest of telling the truth, even if the truth wasn’t pretty, told my friend. That pretty much ruined the friendship, sad to say, and all so he could break up with me a few weeks later. Needless to say, I thought he and I were in it together, and we weren’t. It took a long time for me to be okay with everything that had happened. Ultimately, he and I have stayed friends, and she and I haven’t. He’s moving back to Minnesota from Texas early next month. I’m helping him look for jobs.

i don’t have a picture of the two of us together, but this is Eagle Scout in the front, accompanied by his also very cute ska-loving friend. boys are so silly.

Artist: He was, looking back on it, just a silly little rebound from the Eagle Scout. I met him during Spring Break (but not in a wild or crazy sort of way). He was a friend of some of my best friends, and I was intrigued from the moment I laid eyes on him (that seems to be a theme, doesn’t it?). I brushed off the idea of any possibility because of the geographic difference, but after I got home I logged on to facebook to find his friend request. We started sending messages back and forth and the rest just… happened. Although nothing really happened. It was all talk– all in writing. I have an entire record of our “relationship” except for the week and a half’s worth of nightly phone calls. We have spoken a few times since then but haven’t really remained as close as both of us promised we would. I’d say that that’s always how it is, but I don’t really fit into those molded cliches when it comes to boys from my past, do I?

Artist and I after a night of a 21st b-day bash

Audio Geek: I’ve also called him things like “Guitar Hero,” “Rock Star,” and now it looks as though I should be calling him “Business Guru.” He hasn’t been quite as easy to name as the others have been– maybe he hasn’t completely figured out who he is himself, yet. To be fair, though, he had some other parts of his life completely figured out and those reasons were the ones I completely and totally fell for him. His friendliness was infectious, his faith unwaivering, and his passion for life insatiable. He was my friend when I felt like I had no one else. He made me feel wanted. I admired and respected him. He called last night.

Audio Geek and I testing out his camera in the hall of the music building at MSUM.

Jason Mraz: This one time, I sent him a letter. And then I saw him play live. And then he found me on myspace and was all, “Courtney, you are by far the most beautiful mess I have ever stumbled upon. Will you please travel with me and open my show? Because I can only date my opening acts. It’s a vice of mine. Let’s try.” And I said, “okay, Jason. There’s no need to complicate. Our time is short. This is our fate. I’m yours.” Do doo doo.

Jason, making eyes at me. you see it, don’t you?

(just seeing if you were still with me. are you?)

The point is, when these boys come up in blogversation (is that a word? I like it.) I sometimes express hope for or just curiosity about what might happen when our lives are suddenly thrown together again. The truth is, I want somebody, yes. Oh my, do I ever want somebody. And at some point or another in my life, each of these boys was the person I thought I wanted, or at least hoped I wanted, if that makes sense. In some cases, I feel like I never got my fair shot with them. In others, I just feel like the reasons things ended weren’t good enough reasons at all. Sometimes I can look at each one of them and say, “yes, if circumstances were different, this could work.” But circumstances aren’t different, and the fact is, I don’t just want something that works. If I could combine the reasons I dated each one of these guys, I would have The Perfect Man. But I can’t, so I wait.

I write about them, I think about them at all, mostly to entertain myself, and to remind myself that there are good men in the world. Really, I still think the world of these guys. In some cases, we have very different beliefs, or different values, or different interests, and those were the things that inevitably kept us apart– but there was always at least one thing that really connected us, and that thing has been strong enough with each of them to help the friendships continue and grow.

I don’t understand people who can’t or don’t continue to be friends with their exes. In some extreme cases, maybe, but in simple cases like these? No way. I’ve got my best girls, and nothing could ever beat that, but some of these boys continue to be some of my best friends. They’re friends when I least expect them to be, when I most need them to be, when no one else will be. For that, I’m extremely thankful.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. ARealist permalink
    December 10, 2008 5:53 am

    That was truly an informative and pleasant read. Thanks for sharing, now I’m able to follow the “names” and enjoy/understand/connect with your post/tweets. Be easy.


  2. Hazel permalink
    December 10, 2008 3:07 pm

    I am now updated on the men in your life. Now I can read without being confused :)

  3. rachel elizabeth permalink
    December 10, 2008 7:17 pm

    this was super cute. i know i’ve seen a few pictures of these boys here and there, but it was nice to get a little background. and the part about jason mraz had me just about dying from laughing so hard… he should totally jump all over you, poor guy doesn’t know what he’s missing.

    aaaaaand, i’m friends with 99% of my exes. there was one guy i was really mean to after we broke up because he was so pathetic i couldn’t stand it… but he’s really the only one. it’s a sickness really and the reason for the drama in my life. haha. at least it makes for some good reading (i hope).


  4. Nico permalink
    December 10, 2008 9:43 pm

    I suggest making this a favorite post or an introductory cast of characters because I feel like I’m caught up now on this season of ’til the river runs dry.

  5. Your Ill-fitting Overcoat permalink
    February 2, 2009 3:17 am

    What a good idea to write all of this out! And I’m envious that you have pictures of you with most of your boys. I rarely get pictures with the people I date, unless we’re together for a fairly long time. I wish I did.

    Also this–

    “It seems like every time I have something new to say, it’s about any one of six guys. The stories never have any continuity.”

    Me too.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: