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Good Morning, Sunshine.

December 16, 2008

If you follow me on twitter, you might have noticed an update Saturday afternoon that said, “had a sleepover with Actor last night. So. Tired.”

I feel like I should clarify that I was only tired because he and I and his friend (who he affectionately calles Douchey McGee, boys are so eloquent, and if I continue to reference him I’ll refer to as DM) closed this tiny little dive bar down, then Actor and I went back to his place, ate corn dogs and watched Two Girls and a Guy on dvd before falling hopelessly asleep. We slept for 4 good hours or so before his phone and his alarm clock, which seriously sounded like a fire alarm, woke us up so he could do a callback that morning. My little Actor had a callback. Awh.

Boy always knew I liked him, back in the days of musical theatre and music theory tests and city symphony orchestra concerts. He dealt with it because it was pretty much his fault, but when we watched movies at his place, I’d take the couch and he’d take the easy chair, unless we were also doing homework in which case, The Floor It Is! We were always pretty close, and we got closer as those two years flew by, and hell, we were even married in the last show we were in together. However, he wasn’t ever so comfortable as to let me sleep over, or to sleep over with me. It’s not like I didn’t do my fair share of waking him up. He napped in my dorm room, back stage, in the instrument locker room, all the time. I’d wake up on a couch after a party to his phone ringing incessantly and have to pretty much throw water on him to get him going. That I have experience with. But the little sleepover we had Friday night was a first for us.

It’s not like we planned it. We stopped at a bar between my holiday party and going to see The Day The Earth Stood Still (which was decent, I guess). He bought me a beer, and then found out they were serving tiny little martinis for a dollar for the next hour or so, and insisted on buying us a few. Having already had three or four glasses of wine at the party (we were walking, just for the record), I joked, “If you get me too drunk, you’re gonna have to take me home with you.” And he said, “Alright, you’re coming home with me.” He made a call to his apartment building to get me some sweet guest parking, and off we went.

It was nice though, you know? The last time I had a “sleepover” (or ten) was at the end of the last school year, with Audio Geek, and for the longest time after I came home, I missed that so much. Just having someone next to me while I slept. It’s such a comforting, easy feeling. We just laid in his bed, me watching the movie, him taking care of a few emails on his laptop… just being there. I know I fell asleep before he did, and when I woke up, the covers were pulled up to my chin. I hadn’t even crawled in. He said to me, as soon as I, for old time’s sake, turned off his phone alarm and woke him up myself, “It’s nice having someone to wake up next to.” And I agreed.

I won’t be waking up next to Actor again, probably ever. There’s still a chance for one last night, I suppose, but I’m leaving soon and I just don’t see a real likelihood. We’re not in love. We never will be. I do love him though, with all my heart. And it was just another one of those moments that helped me realize what I really do want in my life, regardless of anything else that might happen.

Someone to wake up next to.

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