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Closer Than Ever

February 22, 2009

About a year and a half ago (-ish) I made a list of my “perfect man.” Something told me to go find it today, and I’m glad I did. I’m going to give you this list exactly as it was written then, although admittedly it’s not really my perfect man anymore. It’s close though.

  • He will be amazingly intelligent and articulate. But not overly articulate. There is a fine line. I have no idea how to describe that fine line. But I will know the difference.
  • He will be an incredibly talented musician. Someone who not only inspires me and my music, but someone I can feel comfortable sharing my music with. Someone whose talents don’t match mine, but balance them out. A Yin to my Yang.
  • He will be much better at the audio production/live sound thing than I am.
  • He will be a master of the written word. He will write love letters. He will be the most lyrical man I’ve ever met.
  • He will be a morning person. I don’t know why that seems important, because I am NOT a morning person. Maybe that’s why I want to fall in love with a morning person. To inspire myself to be a morning person. He will have the coffee made before I get out of bed in the morning.
  • He will love the same movies I love. The kinds of movies that remind you more of real life than a cheesy romance novel. The kinds of movies that don’t always have a happy ending, but maybe sometimes do. The movies with incredible acting and directing. The movies that aren’t afraid to take risks, aren’t afraid to be different than blockbuster material.
  • He will have a truly unique sense of humor. Witty. Not self-deprecating, not deprecating at all. Somebody I can be goofy with. And somebody who is also goofy, but not the same way I am. We will laugh often.
  • He will be patient. I can get touchy sometimes. He will know when I really need to talk and when it really is best to just let me cool off for a few hours.
  • He will be a constant cheerleader. He will find what’s best in me and encourage me to make the most of the talents I have.
  • He will never take me for granted. He will never stop trying because he “has me.”
  • He will believe in God.
  • He will be bigger, taller than me. He will be solid and strong. He will wear warm fuzzy sweaters in the fall, and hold my hands when I’m cold.
  • He will be dedicated. A hard worker. He will never leave something started undone.
  • He will like to cook. We will cook together. I do not like cooking alone. We will put the iPod in the dock on shuffle, sing into spoons, and cook healthy stuff.
  • He will not want to lead a “normal” life. We will not be “9 to 5” people. We will be artists. Bohemian. We will be financially comfortable, but on our own terms.
  • He will be imperfect. Not needy. Not clingy. But imperfect. He will complain when I start to take over his side of the closet. He will laugh at my inappropriate jokes. Some days, he will spend more time with his guitar or his piano or whatever he plays than he will with me. Some days, he won’t touch his guitar or his piano and we will drive to the country and just walk. We will sing together, in harmony, on pure whim. We will never have enough shoes.
  • He will love me.

The differences lie in a few small things– I no longer care if the man I end up with is “an incredibly talented musician.” I do need somebody who has an understanding of music, of its importance, and probably somebody who can at very least fiddle around on a guitar or a piano, but I’d almost rather not be with someone who makes music his life the way I do mine. I think a bit more variety in my life would be a good thing. However, that said, I still believe that would make him “a yin to my yang.”

I could care less about the audio production live sound thing. That’s what friends and professional connections are for.

Morning person? Eh. Maybe. I wouldn’t hate that. I wouldn’t call it a requirement anymore. Although if he has the coffee made when I get out of bed, I’m the one making the breakfast. French toast this morning, love?

Patient and level-headed. Even-tempered. Because Lord knows, I could use more level-headedness in my life.

Also, the needing a constant cheerleader thing? Obviously that was my lack of confidence speaking. Of course I want someone who believes me in- I couldn’t be with somebody who didn’t. But cheerleader seems a little dramatic, right?

Now I don’t so much despise the idea of a “9 to 5 life.” However, I do want spontaneity, travel, life. I never want to feel too rooted in the ground. I understand- it’s about balance.

I don’t know where the “shoes” thing came from at all.

The one thing I think maybe I implied here but didn’t explicitly express is the fact that I want a partner. Sure, everyone wants to be taken care of now and then, but what I really want most of the time is someone I can bounce ideas off of, make decisions with, share jokes, share love, be happy with.

The best part of finding this list today was realizing as I read it that I’ve finally become the person I think deserves this kind of man, at least almost. When I wrote it, I was imagining not only the man I would someday end up with, but the person I would have to be to deserve somebody like that.

I’m closer than ever, so let’s hope so is he.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. February 23, 2009 3:32 am

    This is a great read! That guy IS out there. He’s just waiting for the right time to find you.

    I wonder what my list would have had on it, and I wonder how my boy would stack up if I had a list like this one. I bet he’d be pretty close.

  2. Kyla Bea permalink
    February 23, 2009 2:14 pm

    I think the fantastic thing about a “dream man” list is that when you meet the right person, if they understand and respect you, you’ll both come to a middle ground on each other’s ideals.

    It’s SO hard to figure out what you want, and who is good for you – but this really does sound lovely =)

  3. theoddduckling permalink
    February 23, 2009 2:30 pm

    Kyla’s right, you do find yourself at a comfortable middle ground once you find someone who is right for you.

    Although the bit about french toast in the morning made me laugh and hungry for some.

    – Kendall

  4. verybadcat permalink
    February 23, 2009 5:22 pm

    That’s a great list. I’m sure when you’ll find him, some details won’t match the list, and some you won’t have even thought to put on the list, but the general feel will be the same. :)

  5. Your Ill-fitting Overcoat permalink
    February 23, 2009 8:28 pm

    What a great post. I really do believe that you have to know what you want in order to find it, and like Kyla said above, when you find the right person, some of those small compromises won’t seem so hard to make.

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