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August 6, 2009

I’ve said it before but it takes me quite awhile to warm up to new places.  New people?  Not so much anymore, but finding the people to warm up to seems to be the hard part.  I’ve made four major relocations in five years and while I thought when I moved here I might see fit to move again sooner than later, now that I’m finally settling in, I don’t see why I’d want to.  Making the move from my current town into Nashville I can certainly see– leaving the state again?  I’d have to have a pretty good reason.  I’m not saying I wouldn’t do it, I’m just saying there’d have to be some serious motivation.  I’ll still be a wanderer, a traveler, with any luck– but I want a home base.  I need it.

It’s 11:00 on a Thursday night and because of my job tonight is really more like a Sunday night– and with Tennessee’s tax-free weekend firing up tomorrow (something I’ve never experienced but from what I understand is three days in a row of The Day After Thanksgiving aka HOORAY Corporate Makes Money! GAAAAAAAH Front Line Workers Want To Pull Hair Out.) it’s looking like it’s gonna be a long week.

That’s not what’s making me so “Meh” tonight though.

What I really want tonight is the feeling that I’ve settled here.  And what’s bringing this on is the intense desire to leave the house– only that intense desire hit me about 20 minutes too late to see the latest movies at the theater– my other options are IHOP or Walmart, unless I want to hit up a bar by myself which is totally not me.  No, what I want is someone I can call to say, “I could use some company” and within the hour I’d be paired up with a bestie or a significant other watching a movie or baking late night cupcakes or playing Super Mario Bros.  Or, hey, even the bar is okay if I’ve got a little company.

I’m getting there.  I’m meeting lots of amazing people.  Some of these relationships will build, this I’m sure of.  Most of them are in Nashville, though, not out here like I am.  The others I just don’t know that well yet.

I will.

But I’ve gotta wait.

I’ve got lots of things in the works.  Things that will give me flexibility, force some good old fashioned responsibility on me, some growing up, give the structure I so hate but SO need… and all of that should officially launch in the next week or two and with all of it, I see my entire quality of life improving.

I’m happy.
So happy.
Don’t get me wrong.

But tonight I want late night cupcakes and unfortunately, they’re not an option.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. August 6, 2009 11:46 pm

    I know exactly what you’re going through, I went through this exact same thing when I started college. All of my friends left for colleges far away and I was stuck at home, unable to afford living on campus. It took me a while to find new friends and even longer to feel comfortable enough to call them randomly, but it happened. I got there. And you will too.

    You could always hit us bloggers up on Gchat if you get realllly bored :)

  2. August 7, 2009 12:38 pm

    It’s interesting to read your post and have similar feelings, even though I’ve lived just outside Nashville all my life.

    I think that life stages can invoke some of the same feelings that relocating can do. Most of my friends have gotten married and/or moved away, so sometimes I feel like I’m having to start all over.

    I’m a 20 minute drive from Nashville where I do have some friends, but it’s not as convenient as if I lived in town myself. I know what you mean about just wanting company sometimes. :)

  3. August 7, 2009 12:57 pm

    I wish I could come have late night cupcakes with you.

    We’d be good random plan friends. I just know it.

  4. verybadcat permalink
    August 7, 2009 3:04 pm

    let’s build a high speed rail from Asheville to Nashville! i have cupcake mix…..

  5. August 7, 2009 5:53 pm

    The way I see it, when you live life whimsically, you get to decide your own rhythms. Maybe you’re not like others and don’t need a kick-drum snare-drum 1-2, maybe you’re following another member of the band.

    Find the patterns for a foothold, and when the things in the works are ready, give it a good little crescendo.

    (sidenote: if we were ever in a band together, we’d be The Late Night Cupcakes)

  6. mary evelyn permalink
    August 9, 2009 12:15 pm

    I’ve never tried re-locating like you did to a place where I didn’t know someone, where I didn’t have that best friend to fall back on when i needed them. That’s a very brave thing to do, and it’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately.

    Do I have what it takes to try living in a brand new place without the people I love most being just a phone call away? I’m not sure. I’d like to say I have what it takes, but I’m not sure I have the guts to risk it yet. Hmmmm…

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