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Blessing.

September 9, 2009

Little Miss Sunshine is here to tell you that sometimes Life Sucks.

And sometimes you reach out to people and they don’t reach back.

And sometimes you reach out to no one in particular and you find a million hands searching for your heart to hold.

Thanks to the owners of those hands.

The last week has been weird, to say the least.  The passing of my great grandfather doesn’t mean my life will change at all– it won’t.  I hardly ever got to see him.  He was old and sick and frail and living was HARD on him.  It was time for him to go.  But that doesn’t change the fact that I loved him and being back in Montana will never be the same without him.  Other circumstances, small as they are, surrounding that situation have had me back and forth between upset and disappointed and even angered.  But what are you going to do?

Life goes on, and at least life is a little easier for us than it has been for him the past few years.

Still, showing up to work with puffy eyes because you cried the entire way there?  Not pleasant.

Other stuff has been weighing on me, too.  Money issues, work issues, boy stuff. I’m impatient for the arrival of a few friends who are moving to the area– the kinds of friends I was known to call and on a moment’s notice we’d be out eating Chinese food or curled up on the couch watching August Rush.  I want that again.

And you know what else?  I ran out of coffee like four days ago and I haven’t been able to get to the store to buy more yet.  Do you know the kind of dependency I have on coffee?  Consistent headaches and overly emotional mood swings.  That’s what’s been going on since my last cup.

But, there’s also a bright side, you know?  Like, last night, there were two boxes of cupcakes sitting on the break room table waiting to be devoured.  I had three of them.

Don’t judge.

Also, someone had brought in crab apples to snack on– and we used to have an apple tree and our neighbors had a crab apple tree, and we were always told not to eat the crab apples- they weren’t gonna taste very good.

Um?  I love crab apples.

And she mixed this stuff to dip them in, salt and some sort of pepper, cayenne maybe, and something else.  HOT and delicious.

I picked up yet another extra shift for the week.

I get to start teaching again on Monday.

And, oh yeah, check this out for a totally cool announcement.

You know?  I started this post completely ready to complain complain complain.

I CAN’T HELP looking on the bright side.

That’s a blessing.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. September 9, 2009 3:22 pm

    sometimes it helps just to write it all out. i tend to start stuff like that with the intention of talking myself OUT of a bad mood because I HATE the feeling of being crabby, but sometimes you gotta just admit that you ARE and then start moving on. clearly, you did. Kudos, lady :) good luck w/ all the upcomings!

  2. September 9, 2009 3:56 pm

    Ok, we totally have to meet for coffee sometime. I have been feeling so up and down lately and I know what you mean about some of what you’re saying here. I’m going out of town next week, but seriously… let’s meet up. I’m always on parole for new girls to hang out with around here. :)

  3. September 9, 2009 7:24 pm

    I think the best thing you can do is feel the way you feel and remember to look on the bright side. There always is one, sometimes you just have to look harder.

    Sending you good vibes :)

  4. Shelley permalink
    September 9, 2009 9:09 pm

    No coffee? That is painful. I’m too dependent on my morning cup o’ joe.

    Oh, I also wanted to thank you for your advice this weekend. I made two headers for my blogs at scrapblog.com! Thanks!

  5. September 9, 2009 10:00 pm

    i love you. to pieces. i hope you know that.

  6. cari permalink
    September 10, 2009 7:49 am

    that is precisely why i love you. because i start a post to complain and yeah, it pretty much snowballs out of control. and then there’s you, my little redheaded piece of sunshine. and i love it. and i love you.

  7. September 10, 2009 10:30 am

    I think you’re such an optimist because no matter how upsetting and irritating your circumstances are, we all know deep down that your future is blindingly bright.

    Asheville is a long way to come for Chinese, but it’s all you can eat…

    Seriously, come see a girl. I’ll help you get here. We’ll fetch Adicus and have a bonfire in my freshly mowed backyard and we’ll eat enough that we’d be embarrassed if it wasn’t just us. I have wine and vodka. Tell me what you need to get here, and I will move heaven and earth. Is this weekend too soon? ;)

  8. September 10, 2009 10:31 am

    and how long will it take me to learn my new url?! TOO LONG. hurmpf.

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