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Life.

September 22, 2009

Life gets more and more fulfilling all the time.

Some days it’s still hard. Some days I want scream, cry, pout, whine for attention I’m not getting. Usually, on those days, I just accept the fact that I’m in a bad mood and keep to myself.

But today, yesterday, the day before? Good things have been happening.  Not at the quickest pace, but it’s a pace that works for me.

I was wondering today about stories I used to hear of artists coming to Nashville to pursue their dreams of a Major Label Career, and giving themselves a certain amount of time before they gave up and moved home.

I’m here, at the beginning of this process, and I can’t imagine what would ever lead somebody to give it up and go home. I’m here. This IS home now. And I know, I feel it– whether or not I ever end up with that big time contract, with my voice on country radio and my face on CMT, I will have a career and it will allow me to live comfortably.  I almost think maybe people are too narrow-minded.  They don’t end up with the perfect fairytale version of what they dreamed of as kids, and that means they’ve failed.  No way!  Even if I’m working another job, if I’m still writing and singing songs, making friends, and getting to do what I love to do, I will be happy.  Content.

It’s not about the fame for me at all, or the validation of somebody on top asking me to sign on the dotted line.  It’s about that one person who comes to hear me sing every time, that one person who tells me, “The words to that song… how did you know?”  It’s about the pure and total satisfaction of plucking the perfect lyric right out of thin air and finding it under your pencil in your notebook, the elation you feel at being the lucky one to recognize it, to catch it for yourself before it floated off to some other songwriter’s living room.

No.  I don’t see myself ever giving up.  Because it’s not about a dollar amount.  It’s about my life and how it wouldn’t be life at all without it.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. September 22, 2009 11:26 pm

    Perfect. That’s EXACTLY the mindset you have to have. We’ve signed on the dotted line. We’ve performed on MTV. We’ve done it all. And ya know how much money I have? None. But I get to play music every single day. I get to express my emotion through music and I get to see a lot of people singing along to every word. It’s an incredible feeling.

  2. September 23, 2009 12:21 am

    You’re an inspiration to us all. How’s the editing going?

  3. Taylor permalink
    September 23, 2009 12:42 am

    I love this, you’re exactly right.

    …but you usually are ;)

  4. September 25, 2009 7:49 am

    you are a true artist then. :)

  5. September 25, 2009 4:17 pm

    Excellent perspective… I think that sometimes it’s all about what we’re doing to pursue our dreams. We can’t always go after them all at once hardcore because well, there are bills to pay! I think it’s when you know that you’re still doing things in the background to work toward them and keeping your confidence about reaching them someday that life is most fulfilling.

  6. mary evelyn permalink
    September 28, 2009 8:18 am

    it’s such an exhilerating feeling when you realize that for the first time. i realized it for the first time when i decided to stop taking grad classes; when i realized that it was ok to not take classes if it wasn’t making me happy; if it wasn’t what i wanted to do. that’s one of the nice parts about being considered a “grown up”.

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