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Keep On

January 8, 2010

I started a song last night that I couldn’t find the words to finish.  The melodies were there, but I couldn’t keep the thoughts going. The beginning of the song was all about not having a road map or street signs to follow, about roaming around, looking for an answer.

I guess I couldn’t find the answer.

I took another stab at it tonight, first in the form of a completely new song, and when I failed miserably at that, I went back to the one I’d already started.  Neither attempt was fruitful.

Because we don’t have cable or even a digital converter in the house, I’m sitting in front of a self-updating live blog chronicling the 2010 BCS National Championship game.  2 and a half hours ago I had no idea what “BCS” was.  I had no opinion on who should win the game once google told me what was going on.  I’m still paying attention.  It’s what I do.

Those two thoughts may seem ridiculously unrelated to you, but to me, they make perfect sense together.  It’s something I’m not sure I want to completely verbalize, so I’m just saying it the way I’ve just said it, hoping that what I really mean will have been said clearly enough to empty my mind of the matter for the night.

I just try to remind myself that nothing is perfect and nothing is easy, and that the hardest things are usually the ones that are most worth it in the end.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. January 8, 2010 3:14 pm

    part of me feels like i’m following what you’re saying. but i can’t quite put words to it. something deep inside me resonates with this though. all i can say is that i’m not confused and i almost feel like i’m feeling what you’re feeling. just in my gut.

    i hope that things begin to clear up and clear out of your head and that things start to make sense for you. and yes, the things that are most worth it in the end are the things that are the hardest in the beginning. i love you dear. maybe we should set up a gchat date and catch up. :)

  2. January 8, 2010 8:15 pm

    I can identify with this, as the work ethic I use is to work music even if it doesn’t produce any significant changes.

    But just you wait for the “click” moment, when something that feels like an epiphany comes to you. I’m sure you know this sensation when it comes to songwriting, but just like you’ve said here: the best things aren’t easy.

    On a less profound note, I somehow can’t see you writing a song about the BCS Championship — but your music has surprised me before.

  3. January 9, 2010 5:03 pm

    a.m.e.n. i’m with you on this feeling right now…

    and, maybe, you meant it completely differently than I took it. But it speaks to me.

  4. January 10, 2010 9:30 am

    “I just try to remind myself that nothing is perfect and nothing is easy, and that the hardest things are usually the ones that are most worth it in the end.”

    A-freaking-men. In every situation.

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